Here is your Thursday morning smile......When you start your day with that, it's sure to be a good one!
If you need a good laugh, try reading through these children's science exam answers...
Q: Name the four seasons.
A: Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.
Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink.
A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.
Q: How is dew formed?
A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.
Q: How can you delay milk turning sour? (Brilliant, love this!)
A: Keep it in the cow.
Q: What causes the tides in the oceans?
A: The tides are a fight between the Earth and the Moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature hates a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight.
Q: What are steroids?
A: Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs.
Q: What happens to your body as you age?
A: When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental
Q: What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?
A: He says good-bye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery.
Q: Name a major disease associated with cigarettes.
A: Premature death.
Q: How are the main parts of the body categorized? ( e.g., abdomen)
A: The body is consisted into three parts -- the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain; the borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels A, E, I, O, and U.
Q: What is the fibula?
A: A small lie.
Q: What does 'varicose' mean? (I do love this one...)
Q: Give the meaning of the term 'Caesarian Section.'
A: The Caesarian Section is a district in Rome.
Q: What does the word 'benign' mean?'
A: Benign is what you will be after you be eight.
The Following are comments made when asked about the Ocean...
> 1) - This is a picture of an octopus. It has eight testicles. (Kelly, age 6)
> 2) - Oysters' balls are called pearls.(Jerry, age 6)
> 3) - If you are surrounded by ocean you are an Island. If you don't
> have ocean all round you, you are incontinent.( Wayne , age 7)
> 4) - Sharks are ugly and mean, and have big teeth, just like Emily
> Richardson. She's not my friend any more.(Kylie, age 6)
> 5) - A dolphin breaths through an a**hole on the top of its head.
> (Billy, age
> 6) - My uncle goes out in his boat with 2 other men and a woman and
> pots and comes back with crabs.(Millie, age 6)
> 7) - When ships had sails, they used to use the trade winds to cross
> the ocean. Sometimes when the wind didn't blow the sailors would
> whistle to make the wind come. My brother said they would have been
> better off eating beans. (William, age 7
- Mermaids live in the ocean. I like mermaids. They are
> beautiful and I like their shiny tails, but how on earth do
> mermaids get pregnant? Like, really? (Helen, age 6)
> 9) - I'm not going to write about the ocean. My baby brother is
> always crying, my Dad keeps yelling at my Mom, and my big sister has
> just got pregnant, so I can't think what to write. (Amy, age 6)
> 10) - Some fish are dangerous. Jellyfish can sting. Electric eels
> can give you a shock. They have to live in caves under the sea where
> I think they have to plug themselves into chargers. (Christopher,
> age 7)
> 11) - When you go swimming in the ocean, it is very cold, and it
> makes my willy small. (Kevin, age 6)
> 12) - Divers have to be safe when they go under the water. Divers
> can't go down alone, so they have to go down on each other. (Becky,
> 13) - On vacation my Mom went water skiing. She fell off when she
> was going very fast. She says she won't do it again because water
> fired right up her big fat a**. (Julie, age 7)
> 14)-The ocean is made up of water and fish. Why the fish don't drown
> I don't know. (Bobby, age 6)
> 15)-My dad was a sailor on the ocean. He knows all about the ocean.
> What he doesn't know is why he quit being a sailor and married my
> mom. (James,age 7)
A man boarded a plane with 6 kids. After they got settled in their seats
a woman sitting across the aisle from him leaned over to him and asked,
all of those kids yours?"
He replied, "No. I work for a condom company. These are